The LP Questionnaire - Adam Cayton-Holland

Written by Linda Park | Friday, Mar 8, 2013

ach Adam Cayton-Holland's Wikipedia page says he has a recurring dream that he is a pancake who is terrified of maple syrup. This entry also says "citation needed" which makes it quite a mystery but as with the X-Files, the truth is out there. Or was that Star Trek?

He told us that the first concert he ever went to was when he was five. It was Michael Jackson's Thriller and it ruled.

Cayton-Holland plays adult, co-ed indoor soccer and takes it way too seriously. He said, "I don't go easy on the girls. Because that is true feminism. Plus it helps pad my stats."

He has a Chesapeake Bay Retriever named Annabel Lee and wants to be in a Wes Anderson movie. Bad.

He's hosting a show tomorrow evening at the IFC Crossroads House at 630pm that looks to be full of the funny so you should, you know, go and stuff. Maybe you can ask him about pancakes. Or give him some syrup.

In the meantime, peep his...

The LP Questionnaire
Name: Adam Cayton-Holland
Do you have any nicknames? People will often call me ACH. I think it's because I have a hyphenated last name that is such a mouthful people just tend to shorten it to the acronym. People mess up my name and call me Adam Clayton-Holland all the time and I hate it. My name is Cayton, not Clayton. There's no "L." The bass player for U2 can suck it.

1. Pretend you’re 15.  Name three songs you'd put on a mix tape for your girlfriend/boyfriend. I'm pretending I'm 16 because the songs that immediately came to mind are all from that year, 1996, so I think that's when I really started paying attention to music. I go MTV Buzz Bin to start, something whimsical - "Peaches" by the Presidents of the United States of America perhaps? It's funny, it's fun, it's catchy. Boom. Strong opener. Next I stay Buzz Bin but I get serious now - "Popular" by Nada Surf because I want homegirl to know there some pathos to me. That I fucking get it. Plus I clairvoyantly anticipate them being great for years. So many good albums. That's how precise I'm coming on this mix-tape. Then I get cheese-dick and play some Dave Matthews stuff off of Crash. Yeah I was into it, so what? You were too those first two albums, at least I can admit it! I play the song "Say Goodbye," about how we're friends but tonight let's be lovers. The girl freaks out and never returns my calls or even mentions the mix tape so my confidence is shot. Consequently I masturbate until college where I eventually lose my virginity freshman year.

2. Which evil villain would make the best President? Did you see Javier Bardem in Skyfall? That guy would be pretty sweet with his finger on the button. At least he'd have fun with it.

3. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? DuckTales. Because life was like a hurricane there. In. Duck. Berg. They had race-cars, lasers, airplanes. It. Was. A. Duck. Blur. My favorite comic was Calvin and Hobbes. The fact that Bill Watterson never made that into an animated show, when you know he had offers, is pretty much the best thing ever. 

4. What superpower do you wish you had? The gift of flight. Twice in my life I've realized I'm dreaming and I've immediately made myself fly. I could have banged anyone I wanted to on the planet in that situation, and all I wanted to do was fly. I think my subconscious was telling me something. That I have mommy issues.

5. What would the title of your autobiography be? Portrait of the Sandwich Artist as a Young Man

Whew, it's damp out there, no? If you're kicking' back and stayin' dry you can have a look-see at all the other fine LPQ/P3 actions here.

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From dust til dawn, lp